Separation and divorce

Separation can mean making difficult practical decisions as well as dealing with emotions. A divorce ends the marriage when the court decision becomes final. Start with your safety and any urgent needs; you can then gather documents and get advice about the next steps.

In short

• In immediate danger, contact the police on 110. Do not wait for the separation year or attempt an unsafe negotiation.
• Record when and how the separation began. A separate address is not the only possible evidence: legal separation can also occur inside the same home.
• The spouse applying for divorce ordinarily needs a lawyer. The exception for merely consenting does not make that lawyer a joint adviser to both spouses.
• Children, maintenance, housing, debts, pension rights and immigration status need their own checks; the divorce petition does not automatically resolve everything.

Check the separation route

Under German divorce law the marriage must have broken down. After one year living apart, breakdown is conclusively presumed if both spouses apply or the respondent consents; after three years apart, that presumption does not require consent. A contested divorce after one year is not automatically barred: the breakdown must be established. Before one year, divorce requires the statutory exceptional unreasonable-hardship circumstances connected with the other spouse. Have the applicable law and facts checked, especially in an international marriage.

Living apart means the domestic partnership has ended and at least one spouse clearly does not want to restore it. You can be separated while living in the same home. Write down the date and practical arrangements; moving out alone does not necessarily prove every disputed fact. A short attempt to reconcile does not interrupt the statutory separation periods.

Prepare for the first legal appointment

1. Gather identity documents, marriage certificate, earlier court decisions, children’s details, residence documents and any marriage agreement. Ask before buying foreign translations or certified copies.
2. Record income, benefits, housing costs, accounts, debts and pension providers. Retain copies of documents you may lawfully access and explain missing records to your lawyer.
3. List urgent questions: protection, use of the home, child care/contact and maintenance. Ask which applications or requests are needed now rather than waiting for the divorce hearing.
4. Ask the lawyer which family court has jurisdiction, which law applies, likely fees and whether Beratungshilfe or Verfahrenskostenhilfe is available. See Legal aid. There is no national fixed price or completion time for every divorce.

Court proceedings and separate decisions

The applying spouse’s lawyer files the petition. Read any court correspondence and return the information requested within the stated time. Under section 114 FamFG, the other spouse can consent to the divorce without a lawyer, but their own applications and contested interests usually require separate representation. Get independent advice before signing agreements about money, the home or children.

The family court can deal with connected matters, including maintenance, property and the marital home. Ask what must be applied for and when. Pension adjustment, Versorgungsausgleich, concerns pension entitlements acquired during the statutory marriage period. For a marriage period of up to three years, it takes place only if a spouse applies. Complete pension questionnaires carefully; do not confuse this with dividing a current bank balance.

Discuss children’s arrangements and maintenance with a family lawyer and ask the Jugendamt about suitable support. A divorce is not a general permission to remove a child to another country. If your residence depends on the marriage, obtain migration-law advice promptly using Family reunion; do not assume the permit either vanishes immediately or continues unaffected.

If the divorce happened abroad

Do not assume a foreign decree or religious divorce has automatically changed German civil-status records. A formal recognition decision is generally needed for foreign divorces, with important exceptions, including qualifying EU decisions and certain decisions from both spouses’ common home state. Country, nationality, dates and the type of decision matter. Ask the responsible Land justice administration or its designated higher regional court which route applies; do not assume every EU case or private religious act meets an exception.

Ask which documents, proof of finality, translations and authentication are required before ordering them. Recognition of the end of the marriage does not itself recognise every maintenance, custody or pension decision. Keep the final recognition or court documents for a later marriage or name change.

When it becomes urgent